Puns anyone?

Puns anyone?

Postby Beren » Sun Dec 16, 2012 10:25 am

1. The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.

5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

9. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'

13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

14. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'

15. The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

16. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

17. A backward poet writes inverse.

18. In a democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.

19. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

20. If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you'd be in Seine.

21. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, 'I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.'

22. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says 'Dam!'

23. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

24. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, 'I've lost my electron.' The other says 'Are you sure?' The first replies, 'Yes, I'm positive.'

25. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.

26. There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.
User avatar
Beren
 
Posts: 13428
Joined: Sat Jan 19, 2002 7:00 pm
Location: Bend, Oregon
Class: Warrior

Re: Puns anyone?

Postby Warlinker » Mon Dec 17, 2012 8:31 am

LOOOLLL haha you just made my monday Beren! hahaha now that's funny
User avatar
Warlinker
 
Posts: 405
Joined: Sat Oct 14, 2006 10:09 am
Location: Guatemala
Class: Monk

Re: Puns anyone?

Postby Beren » Mon Dec 17, 2012 9:30 am

Nomi needs to read this...
User avatar
Beren
 
Posts: 13428
Joined: Sat Jan 19, 2002 7:00 pm
Location: Bend, Oregon
Class: Warrior

Re: Puns anyone?

Postby Nomi » Wed Dec 19, 2012 4:31 am

Beren wrote:Nomi needs to read this...


Oh, I did. And my wife read it. There are some truly terrible puns in there. We loved it!
Image
User avatar
Nomi
 
Posts: 3905
Joined: Sun Aug 07, 2005 9:45 pm
Location: Toronto, Canada
Class: Priest

Re: Puns anyone?

Postby Beren » Wed Dec 19, 2012 8:01 am

I thought you'd appreciate them! :lol:
User avatar
Beren
 
Posts: 13428
Joined: Sat Jan 19, 2002 7:00 pm
Location: Bend, Oregon
Class: Warrior


Return to Jokes

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest

cron