by Bigguy » Fri Jun 10, 2011 3:04 pm
Paddy says "Mick, I'm thinking of buying a Labrador." "Bugger that" says Mick ” have you seen how many of their owners go blind?"
Man calls 999 and says "I think my wife is dead” The operator says how do you know? He says "The sex is the same but the ironing is building up!
My girlfriend thinks that I'm a stalker. Well, she's not exactly my girlfriend yet.
The wife has been missing a week now. Police said to prepare for the worse, so I have been to the charity shop to get all her clothes back.
My neighbor knocked on my door at 2:30am this morning, can you believe that? 2:30am?! Luckily for him I was still up playing my Bagpipes.
I saw a poor old lady fall over today on the ice and get knocked out cold!! At least I presume she was poor - she only had £1.20 in her purse.
-Chic Murray, Scottish comedian