Bartender info

[Bigguy]

A recent magazine survey, interviewed fifty bartenders and they were asked if they could identify a customer's personality on what drinks they ordered?

Although interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts.

The results:




IF WOMEN DRINK ...

Beer
Personality: Casual, low maintenance; down to earth. Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.

Cocktails or Blender drinks with umbrella
Personality: Flaky, annoying, dizzy, and a pain in the ass.
Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabin boy.

Mixed drinks - no umbrellas e.g.; Gin and tonic / Scotch and soda
Personality: Mature, has picky taste; knows what she wants
Approach: If she wants you, she'll send YOU a drink.

Water
Personality: Pretentious and is looking for a serious relationship.
Approach: Don't.

Wine - (bottled, not 4 litre cask)
Personality: Conservative and classy, sophisticated.
Approach: Try and weave Paris and clothing into the conversation.

Bacardi Breezer, Red Square, Archers Cooler, Smirnoff Ice, Mudshake etc.
Personality: Easy; thinks she is trendy and sophisticated actually has no clue.
Approach: Make her feel smarter than she is... and you're in.

Cream Liqueurs (Baileys etc)
Personality: Annoying voice, bit of a tart.
Approach: Stand close and mention the alley next to the pub.

Shots and Slammers (Tequila, Vodka, Aftershock etc.)
Personality: Hangs around with male work pals or looking to get drunk...and naked.
Approach: Easiest hit in the pub, Nothing to do but wait.......






IF MEN DRINK... (As always, very simple and clear cut.)

Cider
He's probably under-aged and wants to get laid.

Cheap Domestic Beer
He's poor / student and wants to get laid.

Bottled Beer
He likes good beer and wants to get laid.

Imported Beer
He's old; he likes good beer and wants to get laid.

Guinness
The man will get laid one way or another.

Water
He just threw up and is trying to wash the taste out of his mouth so that he can still get laid

Wine
He's hoping that the wine thing will give him a sophisticated image and help him get laid.

Vodka or Brandy
Extremely horny hound, would shag a warm scarf. Desperate to get laid.

Port
Thinks he's sophisticated, secretly likes men and wants to get laid.

Whisky
He doesn't give two shits about anything and will hit anyone who will get in his way of getting laid.

Jack Daniels
Not as masculine as the whisky drinker, knows all about feminine activities (knitting, crochet etc.) to weasel himself into getting laid.

Rum or Tequila
Likes fighting almost as much as getting laid.

Bacardi Breezer, Red Square, Archers Cooler, Smirnoff Ice, etc
He's gay (blatantly) - don't turn your back or pick up any dropped change,

[Derlex]

so pretty much drinking = getting laid.. hmm bigguy werent u drinking import bear the other day

[Bigguy]

And it describes me well. Thing must be accurate.

[Derlex]

[Druina]

We drank lots of Guinness in Ireland, lots.

[Veleno]

We drank lots of Guinness in Ireland, lots.

Too much info too much info too much info

[bolegrim]

Yup, Guinness its been for 2 years now.

And I usually do keep an eye out for girls doing shots.

[Bigguy]

Bottled Guiness is horrible, draft is good. They have a great ale called Smithwick's too. I am an ale man myself

[bolegrim]

Bottled Guiness is horrible, draft is good. They have a great ale called Smithwick's too. I am an ale man myself

I was drinking Smithwicks last night during raid. Delicious stuff, very sweet, but a bit pricy, lucky I wasn't buying.

[Derlex]

We drank lots of Guinness in Ireland, lots.

TOO MUCH INFO DRU!

[Bigguy]

But it was neither bottled nor imported!

[Derlex]

Guy:
Guinness
The man will get laid one way or another.

[silentknife]

wow...vodka and whiskey here, on occasion...though wanting to get laid seems like a common concept