Turtle Joke

[Beren]

3 Turtles....

Three turtles, Joe, Steve, and Raymond, decide to go on a picnic. So
Joe packs the picnic basket with cookies, bottled sodas, and sandwiches.

The trouble is, the picnic site is 10 miles away, so the turtles take
10 whole days to get there. By the time they do arrive, everyone's
exhausted.

Joe takes the stuff out of the basket, one by one. He takes out the
sodas and says, 'all right, Steve,gimme the bottle opener.' 'I didn't
bring the bottle opener,' Steve says. 'I thought you packed it.'

Joe gets worried. He turns to Raymond. 'Raymond, do you have the
bottle opener?' Naturally, Raymond doesn't have it, so the turtles are
stuck ten miles away from home without soda.

Joe & Steve beg Raymond to turn back home and retrieve it, but Raymond flatly refuses, knowing that they'll eat everything by the time he
gets back.

After about two hours, the turtles manage to convince Raymond to go,
swearing on their great-grand turtles'graves that they won't touch the
food.

So, Raymond sets off to fetch the opener, slow and steadily.

Twenty days pass, but no Raymond. Joe and Steve are hungry and
puzzled,but a promise is a promise.

Another day passes, and still no Raymond, but a promise is a promise.

After three more days pass without Raymond in sight, Steve starts
getting restless. 'I NEED FOOD!' he says with a hint of dementia in
his voice.
'NO!' Joe retorts. 'We promised.'

Five more days pass. Joe realizes that Raymond probably skipped out to
the diner down the road, so the two turtles weakly lift the lid, get a
sandwich, and open their mouths to eat. But then, right at that instant, Raymond pops out from behind a rock, and says, 'I knew it!, I'm not fucking going!'